Have been feeling paranoid these days. Or maybe for years? I don know. But what I do know is that my friends must have found me being paranoid at all times. HAHA! Im just insecure, with low self esteem and think (way) too much. I mean like I am super sensitive to people. Regards of words or actions. This habit of mine really pissed myself off.
But hor, sometimes I would like to share my joys with people who are close to me, instead they are just being a wet blanket. Then influence my 'that moment of happy thoughts' to otherwise and hence demoralised me. Ended up asking me not to be pessimistic. Make me 哭笑不得 (cry laugh cannot) literally! It means between laughter and tears. Really lor. These sort of replies makes me wonder and be aware to who I am sharing my things with because I want that replies that I like to hear. Self-deceiving is good. HAHA.
But hor, sometimes I would like to share my joys with people who are close to me, instead they are just being a wet blanket. Then influence my 'that moment of happy thoughts' to otherwise and hence demoralised me. Ended up asking me not to be pessimistic. Make me 哭笑不得 (cry laugh cannot) literally! It means between laughter and tears. Really lor. These sort of replies makes me wonder and be aware to who I am sharing my things with because I want that replies that I like to hear. Self-deceiving is good. HAHA.
Okay. Maybe I just cannot accept the reality and facts. However, I really do have friends who are freaking frank with me. Like they will say I have gain weight, being irritating, face damn cui kind, etc. Then slowly slowly, I take criticisms heartedly and secretly go work on those things they said about me. HAHHA! But then most of the time, it dont work. =D For instance, not being irritating. I cannot not do that leh. For my face, i never go facial or use any facial foam, just tap water. But these few weeks started on using mask which my sister and friends who gave it to me. Otherwise, I wont even be doing them. Im a lazy lady so I am not pretty.
As for my weight, not hard chore trying to slim down. But after my head operation my appetite is not been that good as before. So I shed off quite abit of my weight in a unhealthy manner. So my body system is screwed up now. Lack of iron and low blood pressure. Not good at all. =(
HAHA! Just my whining again and again.
Mayday! So anticipating for their concert in JUNE! ^^
Loves, wena
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