Not easy

It is really not easy to stay with each other for these long. Lets not talk about marriage path. Just purely in a relationship, staying together is extremely not easy. Have to tolerate one another, understand and be sensitive. Knowing that each party wants their other half to understand but to be done, its simply difficult. One said to have tried so hard, but the other could not see it. Only outsiders could. But some case, maybe both are wrong but who to correct them? If there is no one, then thats the end of it.

Its just tough isnt it?

Then marriage. Don even know who are the one you are marrying. So how? When and how do you know you are with the right person to live for ever?

#guysarejustOMG.

#Ishouldturntoahomorather.

Loves, wena

BHBH OCIP Day3

Phillippines Day 3 @ 12/12/11

 

Rise and Shine on Day 3, when everyone held their excitement within themselves before moving out for our school visit trips. Definitely, all of us can’t wait to see how the particular school which we will be helping out and have donated our donations to them for building the classroom before our arrivals.

Bf's Bd

This year was the 3th year we have celebrated each others birthday (I guess).

We don usually celebrate any anniversary, velatine day, birthday and many more. We just have a simple dinner with our families and such. Nothing fanciful all these years.

To be honest, we are not so much of the sweet and lovely dovely couples who will spend amount to travel. I wish i could but A doesnt like it. LOL! Oh wells~~ Wat to do? HAHA

Happy Birthday A. <3

With his friends.

After this once formost experience, Im so not going to there anymore. Unless necessary. =D

Life & Death

So many things have and had happened for this first half year.

Make me realised how we have to leave our life to god and fate.

There are things we cannot hold on for long but to treasure everything especially our life.

Its just matter of time difference only.

First about the fatal accident took place a few days ago and caused so much issues or even unhappiness to so many others just because of a drunkard rich driver. Seems really responsible. Worse when reports have showed that some new PRC are blaming the deceased taxi-driver. What is wrong with society now?

Secondly, E intro me to watch this documentary starred by taiwan artist [LOVELIFE].

It really touches her and me especially, as this is what im currently facing now. Then to receive a bad news this morning.

Pls treasure your life as well as others around you.

This is a true story of a 15 year old girl named Dora.
Through the video it has made me understand how i need to live my life. I know this maybe irrelevant to others and you might think it is unnecessary to even bother about it. But it really pushes me to pursue a different ideology towards my life.

And I will try to make my life more meaningful and fulfilling.

This 15 year old girl named Yihua.
She became good friend with Dora and through the clip you can see how cheerful she was even though she was diagnosed with illness. As what she had said "don be silly. To treasure life and not just give up so easily"
She is really very strong towards her condition.


This is the full length video.
Just stay strong and LOVE LIFE
even though its so tough to live in this contemporary society, we have to treasure oureselves because we are give this chance and we are all once a champion.

p/s: love you ah gu. <3

Loves,wena

Positive

Don misunderstand what positive stands for in this post. Im thinking how can I stay positive.

It is really not easy. Many have scolded me for being like this, but this is me. I could just change my perceptions leh. I couldnt do that for many many years. BUT one thing for sure, I really know how to keep things within myself and not sharing even if my face tell the otherwise. HAHA. Just to force me to open my mouth and speak when I don wan to. I will share if I see there is a need too. So STOP. It isnt easy to remain so or even positive in life, especially to certain things. When there is positive consensus and expectations, things will turn out well only for that few days. Right after that, there isnt anymore visible slight changes make to it.

Being convinced to 'the' changes, yet things still remain the same. It's like a paradox to me leh. wts.

I always tell myself to stop blogging about unhappy and negative side of my story because people will just turn away from my blog. Then I realised that nobody will read this space, leave comments or even ask me question at forumsprings, so why constraint myself to the things that I want to post and speak my mind out. Yet, I still like using blog to share my personal issues online because I knew somehow, sometime, someone will happen to read also lor. HAHA. Why not make use of it too. (Contradicting right! haha!) Of course there are times, when i offended my friends. That was terrible! =(

Back to staying positive posts, I guess readers always want to read about ecstatic stuff, so they could compare themselves with others and stalk see how well others' life are and then probably some might be dishearten by it; otherwise triggered to improve their own. Furthermore, as I have said good stuff are temporary only (from what i have learned from my lesson), so why bother so much about being positive to certain issues in life leh. For instance, love (simply) or health (death or live) or wealth (gambling). Life just so complicated when society is already or society complicate life?

Some others could be positive because they received things that are up to their expectations. I also did think about my expectations to life and even blame fate for causing all this uneventful things to involve around me. So I tried to lay low, yet I still wish and hope things will turned the other way round. On the contrary, it isnt. In fact nothing has changed. So now I know. Don bother. But with my character Im doubtful. HAHA!

HAI. WHAT IS LIFE NOW?

p/s: wan to meet up all my friends asap.
p/ss: My dreams seem to be so surreal recently, its happening. Something must be really wrong with me.
p/sss: I really shall stop all these nonsensical thoughts. Its really not worth pondering over and over, when other doesnt even give a damn and thinks that its just me. Yeah so its just me ba. *cant you do anything meh? talk more than/only no action.
p/ssss: Soooooo not going down tonight. Maybe I shall not even respond to questions.

Loves, wena 

Instagrams

Have been tying up and cleaning my room, however, the more i tried to clear and pack them nicely. The messier the room got. Arggg... How and where do I start from. Really give me headache. On the other hand, while clearing all my stuff. There are really tones of memories i have kept with me all these years, digging them out and read them over again and again, brings a strong sense of nostalgia back to the olden days. #Awww….. ^^ You can take a look at this post for my first part housekeeping.

There are more vintage stuffs could be found like, nintendo products.

credits to: googledotcom


Back to all my instaGRAMS postings.

This is the current mess in my room.

Rainbow#1 on the 9May11.

Mayday shirts. Could bare to open up and wear it. Brought it in the year2010?

Was refliefing for a tuition class located near Hg Sec.
On the way back home, walking down the usual path that i took in my elementary years brought me back those wonderful memories! Serious! The air still smells the same back in those dayssssss. ^^

Come to think of it, I never once regret getting (being forced to choose this sch as my first choice, just because it was near my house, which was my mum's idea) myself enrolled into this school. Initially I wanted CHIJ st nicholas, a girls school but my mum said it was too far. I guess if she didnt insist of me putting HS as my first and Im not being persisten for rejection, I couldnt have met so many awesome bunch of friends and Alex. (LOL!! Hilarious long story). And and and most probably, with my characters I might be a homo or couldnt get along well with girls. HAHAHA!

Because I heard so much story about boys, mens, males. Just don trust them at all (Love) back then till this bf kinda make me change my ideology towards men. BUT HOR, I never know right. Look at the taiwan show, [The shewed wife], tragic lah. =(

Anyway here's a photo collage to delicate for my mum.
HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!

^^


Loves, wena

Thoughts

Blogging at this moment, could just tell how troubled I am. Maybe. It has been quite awhile and I seem to have forgotten how to love someone and care for that person while heartedly. I'm so stuck with my expectations and my desire for love. I could only see and feel that everything is just slowly drifting and fading away.

Yeap. I agree. Four years of relationship is not easy to come by. Yet I really don know Wat I can do now to salvage my feelings over my thoughts or vise visa. =( Nothing has happen. It's just me complexing myself all the time. Always wanting to compare how sweet or caring A could be with how others bf are to them. Yet I'm always telling myself that A is just different from other guys. He is just not expressive ba. So I will have to do some extras to be an extrovert in order to get certain things done. However, I got lectured for over doing things which he deems to be unnecessary. I really don know what else I could do anymore.

I try to change myself yet I got condemned because of it and lost connection with my friends. =((((((( I guess if he happens to read this part, he will said "then just talk to your friends lah! 不要为了我而失去了朋友！don lose contacts with your friends because of me." sounds alright? Yar I do agreed that this reply sound fair enough. But I always assumed that he is just being sarcastic and angry for making that comment because he sounded so unfriendly and not nice at all. Did I told him off about his tone? I did and all along I am trying to convince myself that this is his style. But being such a sensitive women, how could I tell myself that he is speaking nicely to me! I did let him know my assumptions towards his tone but sometimes his reply was what else you wan me to do. 真的是哭笑不得。This answer just shoot right onto my face! LL lor~~

I know....It's very very contradicting! For instance, when I tried to keep things low and not attending any of his activities. He doesnt seems to be bother about it and I think he does enjoy the moment. So I stayed really low and he was furious about not meeting up. Hello. I'm at home and I'm not out having fun. You are otherwise.

Also sometimes, things need to be planned and corrected. Being the one who see something is wrong, I have to make certain comments abt it but my words are not taken serious or in fact doubtful to him. Hence, (to me) he don even bother to listen. Yet some others who actually commented with similar replies, he actually responded and acted to it. This, I really don understand what it means. Taking me for granted? Or he just under estimates my abilities? Loves could really blind people = I meant it for myself.

Till here, I have no idea Wat the hell I'm talking about. Everything so mess up and crashing down onto me. First thing, I don really like to post about how sweet/fanciful/awesome my relationship is (yes, he is my first bf) because I believe that such things could fade away and are temporary only. They wouldnt last long, even if so it could disappoint me more in the future. So why should i even be positive about the good stuffs since they could only last the happiness for a short while especially towards love. Honestly even before getting into a rs, i really dislike boys, men. I don trust them at all. To me, they are just most untrustworthy creature on earth! I strongly believe that women could do so much more and better! Still im changed. =.= lol!!!!! But not my mindset and which is why it has caused so much troubles in this rs. Plus my family issues. Hai... Life will never be that or even smooth for me.

One main reason: BECAUSE IM SUCH A PESSIMISTIS. But I could still understand (know sounds more appropriate) why girls like to share their lovely stories, for memories.

Now I'm so dead. I don know which step I should or could take now. Everything seems and feel so different now. =((((

p:s: just a sadist post. Yet I just have to pen it down.
p/ss: they are my point of views, probably something I must have overlooked. So I don mean to judge him or even us. Every relationships are just different.
p/s: lay low or not to lay low. (In other words, stay attentive and concerning or not.)


Loves, wena

BHBH7 OCIP Day2

Philippines DAY TWO.


The authenticity of my contents might flautate as of my vague memories towards this trip.
As such, Im here to post most of the photos that I could edit and to share. ^^ So this could explain the llllllooooooooooooooonnnnnng post......... p/s: even though this post might not interest most of my readers, I would just like to share them with you. As well as blogging about my experiences on this space to keep track of my happy times. Well. Enough of words. I will start my Day II journey.


Our usual meeting area - living room

Housekeeping

Had my last paper early this morning. Think it's another cui paper done. BUT im glad that everything is over now!! Woohoo!! Reward myself with a subway lunch. ^^ CUT FAT for my big bros wedding at the end of this year. Oh and I have to start clearing everything in my room. So was in the mid of clearing all my presents  and gifts that I have received since 2003. Found a lots of every touching message cards. Simply just Awww~~~~ my way through reading. HAHA! =D Felt the LOVES!

The most hilarious contents were talking about A and me - like how my friends hopefully wishED we can be together. That was not only one or two, but quite a few. That means different years as well. LOL! Really could imagine we are together already.

p/s: maybe I just take things/people for granted. THIS IS REAL BAD.

ITS OUT!!!!

Cant wait for people to ask me out for this adventure!!! WOOHOO!!! ^^
But first concentrate on my paper!!!

Loves, wena

Just a Word

Just a simple sorry =/= about satisfactory simple

Just don understand why some girls can live so happily with their bfs and post about it. It is a good thing to post everything that are happy on the blog? Why me the otherwise?? Shit myself. Why do i get pissed over little and unnecessary issues so easily. (=.=) I did give a thought about it and tell myself that everyone is different. If im angry over the same issues, it means im just over exaggerate it and expecting him to do sth which are just so not him. BUT i tired of it. The past few months I have learned to keep things low and under control by staying home and study for my papers. PLUS watever gatherings he had I did not attend unless necessary or have Im not going to attend unless necessary as well. 

At times single hood is just so much better too.

Life's indeed a bitch when such issues are really unnecessary to ponder over my degree of happiness.

Don over do it and take things for grunted.

Loves, wena