Recess Week is ending in another 3 hrs time. Damn!
Thats really fast for me!! I did enjoyed myself but at the same time i hate being hurt so deeply.

Just this short random post before i can find anytime to blog.
SChool's tml. sianzations ttm.



p/s: I DON like the feeling when someone whom i treasured and felt so close too, treating me like somebody else and so cold blooded-ly. This feeling is really freaking shit.

DAMN SHIT!

So piss at this moment. I wish i can just control my angry and attitude. As wat ash said.
if not the latter, we all know what will happen

Aut Fest.

This year of this week is just different??


Have been going out recently with A and friends.
I did enjoyed my recess week a lot. Cause no sch! Really cant just sit down and finish all my readings. Readings just not for me! Seriously. HAHAHA! But i cant wait for more in the future sem. Just wans to get into that particular major that im really interested. GO go!

trying out with different settings and playing with fire and light


Initially thought of going over to Yishun jetty. Change plan with someone suggesting to go Macritchie instead. Got there almost 10. Is just amazing! =P

Out of the odds.

Will be back on this post.

credit:thanks doris for the art

Somehow i always have lots and tones of thoughts going in mind.
Conversely I just cant achieve things that i wan or the "thought of trying it". I figured out that some part of me did not try my best to do that particular stuff and worried others' comment. Which eventually means i have low self esteem.


Really low at certain stuff though.
I ought to change for better sense of modernizing but didnt have the courage to do so.
I ought to powder up my features and yet again i didnt have the confident to do so.


Im not those who can accepts the truth-person easily. HAHA!
p/s:Someone give me a big slap on the face pls.

xxwenaxx

Just updates.

Maybe im trying to upload something on my blog so it wont seems so dead.
Im trying to make full use of my recess break as much as possible. To study, relax and at the same time finding time to blog more frequently. A random thought: I still miss my SEC & Poly LIFE SO MUCH!

This was taken during YOG period. Was a month ago though.

Back to the old selF

Enough of The Emotional Post before this. Here's the real old me now.
Cheers everyone! ^^


Malaysia. City Square. Sentosa.Seafood.Prawning.
Went for a short trip to JB with them. Plan to get some mooncakes and the main highlight was having candlelight dinner. Okay, actually seafood dinner instead. Doris brought us there. Her craving made me craved for it too! Though im not those big feast seafood dinner person. For once yeah. XD


Doris and Jia hao.


Uploaded something anomaly.


We actually had Marrybrown for lunch at city square. Is actually chicken. But they are not that nice. =X I guess we are not use to their taste. The guys did some "shitting" after that.







Doris went for some pedicure session. =P


While i sat outside playing with my tights. HAHA!



US. Four of us so random and planned to go malaysia. HAHA!

Here's the main highlight. =D


Food! Their seafood are really fresh! Especially the crab! SO NICE And cheap!
We spent 133RM for all. Girls we shall plan one trip down soon right! XD

We had the.....
wild roar. (taste like pig but meat much more tender. Really GOOD!)
Honey Squid (Sweet and nice.)
Sambal KangKong. (Large, nice but too little sambal! =[. )
Mussels (nice. But refer lala instead.)


Chili crab! NICE NICE NICE!


Salted Egg yolk Crab. (Uper nice too! But not much up as compare the the one i eat at someplace in Sg.)




Headed home after dinner. Sweat like crazy and tiring.

Went back and bathe then prawning. Worse catch for the day. We had 7 ppl. And we only caught 8? It is that bad. But we had one huge prawn though.




hearts hearts. Reach home at 9. Tired but i can't sleep!
Then again i had fun! =D

Oh yar i brought some mooncakes back. One of it was the blackcurrent+cheese. IS REALLY NICE! Never expect it to turn out that supposedly nice too! XD
xxwenaxx

Emotionally wrong.

p/s: if you are interested, just take your time to read wats going on in me.

I always envy others in many ways.
I use to tell them to others.
Some scolded me, others agreed with me, being frank with me.

But somehow i still felt that i doesnt belong to anywhere. In this post, im not trying to be emo, or sentimental. I just wan to voiced out everything in my heart now.

I am proud to say im in this relationship with Alex. PPl who already know him in person will know that he is not the bad guy type. Though he seems to be fooling around not getting serious, he still thinks and plans a lot. Just that he doesn't sees a need to tell the whole world. Instead im some sort of person who will tends to COMPLAIN THINGS THAT I DISLIKES and I FEEL THERE'S A NEED TO MAKE A FAST OUT OF IT.

Thats me. On the other side i don see a need to say things, i find it no point unless if i explode.

In this post im not trying to emphasize how good my RS is progress, how far we plan to go, trying to tell the world that we are tgt or how my life is. I blog because i wanted to tell my readers that every activities i went, I did enjoy myself and hows my emotions are that particular day. I guess even my friends knows MUCH MORE BETTER THAN MY PARENTS. ALL I JUST NEED IS THE SUPPORT, TRUST AND UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY CAN GIVE ME-US. THAT ALL I NEED.

Im sorry if i blame you guys for not being an sightly above average income group. *Im not even any average income group cat. for your info.* Don just judge me by the stuff that i owned. Most of them i worked for it and just by my OWN MONEY TO GET them.

I am a very dependent person. So hard and stubborn that i don wan to ask for any help. IM A LEO TOO. In add, i just don like the feeling of asking help from ppl because i will feel guilty. =( Thats the reasons, i don asked help from others. I only complains and gets really really really emotional!

Friends:
THANKS SO SO MUCH EVERYONE FOR STANDING BESIDES ME ALL THIS WHILE. SUPPORTING, ENCOURAGING, FIGHT, COMPLAIN, NAG, TEARED, BLEED, RUN, SWEATED, SLEEP, BATHE, LAUGHED,UNDERSTANDS, ABUSED WITH ME.
I know there are ppl always supports me. I know!

Friends love.
*Im not comparing my RS love and FS love tgt. They are different. Each of them play different pillars and role for me. I am a person who also treasure relationship with anyone and see it as a important task in life to maintain all of them.*

Relationship:
Im doing well with alex. I LOVE HIM. Just this simple feeling, really makes me feel energized when even im. He dote on me so so much. He is like another pillar for me to rest on and being a less dependent girl - women to be in my life. He care for me so much till i don know how should i react to him. I mean in my heart there is nothing i would do to replace his love for me. Even though i really don know how much he can love me, i really do felt the love i had ever had. A BGRS i should say.

Ppl might say that im stupid to fall so deep for someone and neglecting my family. I can say im not. Now i really hate to go home so much. They just don understand my feelings. My mum can stalk me by bombing my phone everyday at 8pm asking every details i can give her. I know she cares a lot so as do my dad. I know they love me as much as alex. But Their love only makes me stress. Which then leads me to think about how "pathetic" my life can be.

Of course. This is only comparing of my own life. I know there are others out there facing much more tragic situation as me. Here again, im emphasizing my life. Thats all.

My mum and dad are old. Their thinking are rigid. Im not blaming them. In fact maybe im in the wrong cause i don report to them. But being a 21year old, is there really really a need to report everything what i do?Okay at times i still did tell them.

THEY WILL SAY COME HOME EARLY LIKE SAY BEFORE 11. WTF?!
Curfew is it.


And my mum is trying to break A and me up. WTFA.
Why cant she just accept the fact that im with him already. And its been 2.half years already.
Also if i am planning to get married, i can only do it when both my Bro and sis got married. WTFS!


Parents:
I know they really care a lot for me. Parents are all the same unless otherwise.
Ever since im with A, i admit i have been going out with him much often than my parents. This happens after he ORD only. Of course i did spent equal times with my friends. (if they doesnt clashes)

1. My parents are always busy working ever since im so young.
2. Both of their timing doesnt meet.
3. They never plan for any family outing ever since my dad became a taxi driver. (yeah he is)
4.My mum is just a hardcore cleaner at home. And Never EVER wants to go out.
5. They somehow don see a need to spent one day of the week going out.

So every since then im being alone, find things and making my life happening.
Going out with my friends most of the time in the past as we are much more slacker than now. Till then going out with Alex.

They never say much when comes to friend. But Alex, MY MUM WILL NAG NAG NAG GIVING ME 30 MISS CALL in half an hr. As if im like having sex with him in the cinema?????
We are always out with friends what can we do? Why cant she thinks that if when im out with my gfs, im having group sex with them all till the morning???

Im not saying that my mum hate A, dislike him. She is just worried that i too close with him and not spending time with her. (MOST OF THE TIME SHE DON WATCH TV AT HOME. Like i said hardcore housewife.) She worries that i get married too soon and no one will take care of her(money case). OMGNESS!!!! Now she is finding things to start the nagging. Eg." you go out don need to study for your sch ar? Arent you complaining stress, still have the mood to go out? Where got ppl studying one, keep hanging out and not home by 1030?."

I seriously don understand why she said this "topic". Maybe an excuse i should say.

Money:
I said im not even the average income gp cate. If friends who really knows me, they will know some details of it. Im not humiliating my parents here. I just wan to voice out that all. I know this is really wrong. But rather than exploding everything out directing in their face, i choose to post it here. (Maybe im hoping they could see or know this - via someone letting them know how i felt)

Note: this are all my viewpoints only.

Im a money saver person. In my whole entire 5 years sec school. I never took 20 bus ride(per trip and not for&back) to sch from my house before. I WALKED every single day unless otherwise too. I had my first HP when im in sec 2. And some BLOODY IDIOT stole from me when im having my netball competition. F. him seriously. (somehow i know who was it) ITs over.

I always worked hard to get some bursary awards at the end of the year. And in total i earned close to 2k from the government. In addition, i save a lot. $4 per day. I can not have my much just to save the 4 bucks. Till something happened during year 4. And i gained weight from the incident. Damn that person too. Also, its over.

Imagine how much i saved though out the 5 years. And i did some temp jobs.
I brought my first hp and paid my own bills ever since then till now. Before this im using prepaid card. My dad did "borrowed" some of my savings back then which can be count rill 2k. ( im sorry to make you feel ashame. I know is norm. Its fine with me initally. Because as a daughter we should help our parents out at times right.) And then was when im still so naive, not knowing whats the reason behind it.

Then during my poly years, Im lucky enough to know kenneth. I got notes from him and not buying my notes. Likewise, I work hard and got nearly 4.5k from poly. I paid all my bills, my transportation, my books, my expenses (80%). Of course dad still give my allowance. Now 10 -20 perday. 10 bucks for me to save. I can spent none in a day or just 5 for lunch, unless. Till end of 3 years, he still did asked from me.But there was once he won lottery, quite an amt, so he borught me samsung omina. And sponsor us oversea. (that's good at times)

However the fucking ugliest truth that i found out, really did pissed me off! I guess most aged guys in geylang will do. Worse he spent money going oversea with that "thing" twice and the longest was 2 weeks. WTFCB. I HATE GUYS WHO CHEATS!

Was to sneak out and eat, pls just wipe your mouth as clean as possible before coming home.
You never know your young daughter is so good at figuring things out. Digging out evidence to prove everything.

Once a good dad in my mind, just gone. I wonder this home is just continue because they wan me to have a place to stay. If not they might have already divorced. Plus, my mum is a super introvert person and she is the sort of women will take everything. even if her husband were to cheat on her. Thats wat i know. My mum still doesnt know a thing. I use to hint her. But she answered "Are you stupid?! If divorced, where i stay?!"

Watever it is, its over. GUYS ARE JUST BUSTARD WHEN THEY ARE OLD. but cant blame them, their wife just doesnt satisfy them well enough. *I should say majority. Maybe 1 out of 100 wont?"*

So now im still paying my bills, transport, notes + insurance. Remembered my bd. I paid everything except for the cake sponsored by dear and chalet my bro. Eventually i need to pay him back.

Here's the truth part:
Mentioning about my bd. I cried that night is not because im touch. Im just so stress and angry and SO MUCH DISAPPOINTED.

1. my bf helps me to bbq the whole night not resting.
2.No one is helping me though out only bf, sis, some.
3.Im not being respected that day.
4. I felt so lousy.
5.My parents never helped out at all. Only driving and sending. Not saying about the drinks sponsored by my dad though.
6.Friends all put plane.

The worse part was my parents. They never helped me out much. Not even once asking me how was my preparation before the chalet even start. Bloody nice one was, my mum said she DOESNT WAN TO GO. as she having some lesson that night. They never hug me or give me anything. Not even a angbao. I know i own them a lot. Wasting spending their money during my growing up years.


I earned my own money to buy things that i wan. Camera, tables or so.
I never and not going to asked much too.


I JUST WAN THEM TO UNDERSTAND TO KNOW AND TALK ABOUT IT.
I wan to tell them everything of this so much so much. But i cant, I have no privileges to do that. They wont listen, or even when my dad got angry he might just bash me up. I cried so much when typing and recalling all this especially my bd.


I own A too much. Pls don feel stress or bad that you never care for me. In fact you did a lot a lot already. Remember you are always the one who ask me to fight back my rights.
Im trying, but this doesnt mean im rebelling my parents.


I

JUST

WANT

THEM

TO

UNDERSTAND

THAT'S

ALL.

im asking

too much to even continue.

1.1.0.9.1.0

Here's Chuas' 21st Big Blast.
We girls went there to help out with their deco. Like finally, last of our cliques were not 21st.
Nothing much to expect in 21st but we still had so much to achieve what we want is it?

For friendship, i offered my help to others with my own choice.
But im sad that i didnt get the same back.


Our work: HAPPY BIRTHDAY's deco
*All the cuttings are done my joanne herself. we just add some ideas on the way of presenting only*



Lets meet Sexy ST and Afro wena.


We hadnt been taking photos like this for decades already. Somehow E, all the girls and myself miss you guys! Remember to read and note what i mentioned in your guys guest book yeah.


JJ. Chuas


Is it good to celebrate tgt like this? Even though you guys will pick on each other at times or most of the times. Thats any other way that you guys communicate to each other as well as your parents.


=)
I literally just stood one a chair again. And yet that height! HAHAHA

Sorry for all the spam photos in FB. Heres the summary for all! XD




We girls rox is it! Thats the hg us.
Hit 500 photos that night!




I remembered he told me that i got into the wrong course! Don make me feel any regretful.
Crazy friend, thanks so much.


Here to end this photo! ^^
HAHAHAAHHA!


Miss you guys so much still. And:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUAS!
Though each of you and us had different commitment, still somehow part of us do know that we treasure our 8 years of friendship then others right? To me it is.


Good luck in your future endeavor
xxwenaxx

Sleepless nights.

Say hi to mei! SO MEI RIGHT! =P

I will blog real so. Took whole long day trying to understand what philo is telling me so i could explain it to my lecturer. Studied my にほんご for tml test. And finished up my Soci. ass due tml. And then... here comes my recess week! =DDD

E. Ended her exam. So we have more time to hang out. Picnic @ sengkang soon!

A is going for service soon. Spending more time tgt and i can concentrate on my school too.

HY and guys are starting school soon too! We meet you guys up real soon yeah!!!

But after the recess week, will be my mid term test. Im aiming for a pass now thou. But watever it is, im aiming for a B- and above in order to meet the criteria for majoring in Com media.

Im still not in bed now. School at 10 later.

Will be back soon with more post on Chua's 21st bd.

I wan holiday! 2 more DAYS TO GO!!! =DDD

Finally two weight is off my shoulder now. 2 more to go.

I wan to blog something.I am lazy.I see no point to continue.


will update soon if i can.

Trivial Status

Monday.Celebrate A mummy's BD at Jacks place. Ended up playing numbers just to finish the dessert.

Sunday.Went Ikea to order my furniture.

Sat. it came. So manage to unpack and pack everything tgt. Took one whole day to fix and clear and settled them in position.

Rosa came over for help on maths ending up doing cheap labour for me! HAHA!

Thanks ar. And A for everything too. Though you are the man in control. Zzz *angry*

Outraged during the packing, as mum was nagging and nagging and nagging for like zillions of times. Never help out is okay lah, but then still keep nagging on stuff like why buy this buy that. Might as well i moved out, best if i just stay in hall better!!!!

okay i shall not rant about her again, i know is bad.

Max. cui! Looks like some horrible aunty (referring to me)

I got Uzap. HAHA! Thats really good! Lost 7kg! =DD

as-if-huh.

This photo is really entertaining right. HAHAHAHA!

I have a red dino! ^^

Anyway my room is kinda really green green green now! =P

p/s: Am i just a part of your life or one whom you will really look up to at times? I felt that something is missing as i don know anything;wat's going on inside the mental cells. I always got to know the external and physical mental part. Something is not right seriously. I wanted to find a chance to let you know wat im i thinking, but usually i will stop my conver. cause i see no point to ask about it further. Cause i know wat you will say and react. *a good pt here thou means i know you well.* but at certain part of there, i can't really reach. Something of a translucent barrier in between, though i can see wats happening on the other side, i still cannot reach it and touch it. Im just a selfish bitch that it.

You know wat i mean here? Sociology + Philosophy?

xxwenaxx

Thoughts

1. I really appreciate ttm thanking JX for taking care of me and encouraging me. I was f. stress that thursday. Having the thoughts of dropping. She told me not too, at least tried it out. For 4 weeks already, Im trying my ultimate best to catch up the pace in sch. 4 projects just thrown to us. LIKE "BOOM"-and due date is 2weeks less from now. Im a slow learner in Language which is already an disadvantage to me. Im not both chim-literal person at all. I believe somehow part of my stress are resulted by my milieu-partially my mum. Though she wont force me to continue even if i cant, but someway somehow and i believe some of you guys will try every ways to make it work right? Since we already reach there; why should we just give up like this. Is it??

2.Right now my condition is, no time and no friends to hang around. I have one (Gervina) but some of our modules diff and diff tut timing, which we really cant hang around too.

3.The mental thoughts of hanging with JC ppl, whom talks really chimsss language really make me go GAGA! LECTURERS too! Totally different way of expressing and language use as compared to my Poly lect. GOSH!

4.Im trying trying trying to COPE and be optimistic amsp. And in my heart, i would wan to thanks those who always always listen to my rantings and "sorrows". Advices, lecturing, encouragement are all given to me. So im putting them real hard into me and reminding myself all times.

5. No time for me to blog and dress up too! HAHA. (at least im trying to divert my emotions here)

6. I stopped my tuition too! =( Which i really don bare too! Really. The bonding with the kids and mum was really good and fun! I will miss them! I already miss them!

But still life sucks so much for now.

xxwenaxx