Emotions

To whom it may concern,

Right now, countless of emotions are following into me. I am so confused and fearful. I don want such life. This is not the life that i want. I know i should not stay pessimistic in life, but I need a place for me to confine about my sorrows and troubles or even worries. Even I know there are some people reading this or no, I wouldnt mind because I know nobody and who are those nobody reading.

First of July, yet experienced so much nerve breaking emotion today.

Parents, Bf and relatives. No one I could turn to. Yesh I know I do still have friends, but relationships problem who's willing to listen to me whine about my own rs problems. I guess nobody. Felt that I don belong to anyone. I not smart enough to over shin my cousin. Relatives just look down on me like Im just lucky enough to get into a local Uni. Cousin even look down on the course I chose. Adults just appreciate other cousin who are smart and pretty and being rich with a rich bf.

Im not complaining why life is unfair or why they are wealthy. Like my BBF said, just be happy for them that they are rich. I am on the other half.

Yet on the next half, I felt that people are just hypocrite and always always always want to compare prestigious in life and allowing these rich people to be even more arrogant when they are always being praise to the top.

Also, I don understand why some adults can just angry with me when their actions are just unnecessary and nonsensical.  That human is already back to ITS own country and why are you still trying to get to that human and trying to find ways to help IT to come back to SINGAPORE. I really don want to know what you are trying to do but yet I could see it and know everything. It doesnt feel like a home to me now.

Furthermore, things are just not improving or changing for the better. It doesnt seems to be so. I always get controlled and the one losing out and living a life that I dragged the most. However I have to be easy in things and not being stubborn, which will eventually make me miss out that important someone to me in my life right now. I don want that. BUT Im tired of it. I felt that Im an extra burden to you and I am something that you will take for granted at. Yes. Things. Im just an object.

An object to everyone in my life to their life. 

Now, there is nowhere noone i could turn to. If the situation still exist, times allows or even circumstances allows, I will turn to no one and be a no one to everyone.  I will leave and disappear to take a break in life and really think hard what I really do want in life.

Your sincerely,

wena