Juggling the Sohs

Oct's thoughts.

Out of the blue, having a sudden urge to pin down my random thoughts, before i leave my blog astray again.

School as usual - being a hassle. Lucky enough, i met fabulous friends this semester through BHBH - a community OCIP. My uni life slightly change for the better because some's presents. I really appreciate it a lot. Especially, the encouragement i have received. On the other hand, school works are piling up and all essay assignments are reaching its' due date soon! Chiong!

Relationship with A is maintaining well - but on the other side, (to me) it was mundane. Probably we have already immuned with each other presents already. We will do some cooking tgt whenever we are free. Most of the time, he will be doing the cooking while i did the miscellaneous stuff. He proclaimed that his cooking is better than me. HAHA. True. Anyway, he has returned from his first sailing trip for 6 weeks. Met him for a few days and now he went for a second sailing trip for another 2 weeks. Cant say i miss him a lot, cause i don know how to miss him that much as compared to the past. Perhaps, I could only say that i miss his present. Our rs isnt that fantastic or adventurous as compared to other couples, where they could go overseas, just go out strolling down the road, meeting up almost 3 times or more per week, night chats, many more. We just lead really simple original life style like some old couples. When we meet, we will be spending most of our time at each other place - him doing his work while i do mine. Simple isnt it. To save money is the main idea. Saving up for our future and his. #49 months. Sometimes i just dislike the way how we lead our life, just because we have been tgt for this long? You cant just follow what have been 'scheduled' to you by fate or 'this's life' way of changing our rs according to the time we have been tgt. But A wanted or i could say prefer things to be very simple. I also would like to do that but we are still in dating mode isnt it? Starting family will be another step to which we have to then lead that 'simple life'. What's more, i felt that even if we were to start up a family - things could still remain. It all depends on how one couple would wants their life to be.

Family mum as usual will be nagging me spending 'most of my time' outside which in fact im not?! Just feels that she is not getting the idea of how things work now? Its really hard to change her rigid mind (i shall use the rigid word). She hasnt been into the socializing kind of person, so it is a definite that she has lost touch to the world outside. Literally, lost touch - im serious. She has the very typical thinking like most of the mum. But i know she cares. As for my dad - he is still quite flexible. Just that he doesnt wan to lecture me. Probably he knows i would think and behave. Friends around me told me to ensure that my parents trusted me, blah blah blah... I did sit down tgt as a whole parents-child talk, but my mum just don get it. FTFT - she would pretent to know what im referring to but when it happens she will just nag like shit. #ireallydonknowwhatshewants. I know that im just a financial support or and economic labour for her future plan - but this is a very outdated and traditional way of thinking. It shouldnt be the way im a financial labour for her future welfare, instead she should look at how i could contribute to the society in a way when i have studied my way through. #edu-uniisjustsononsensicaltome but yet w/o having any uni cert you cant go way up just by a flick of your fingers? WTSR! To be honest, i will rebel one fine day. I just wan to do things my own way and not following my mum's idea which she is being force to just because the society work this way. HATE reality.

Some random stuff - its so contradicting when government encourages (young) couples to reproduce due to low fertility rate, yet they only want those who are capable/ talented couples to reproduce as compare to those who are not "that highly educated" and even implemented talks to encourage young couples no sexual intercourse before marriage? #afraidofreproducingthewrongcrowd? On the other hand, are you trying to say those who are marginalized based on how educated you are; resulting to income segregation as well to suffer and charge them for reproducing the wrong gene that could not benefit society? So then will a couple who have different education level be marginalized from those couple where both parties hold a uni cert or higher? WTF.

Futureplan is to be a teacher or a counselor? Having to major in arts - with this lousy english standard of mine. I have already faced challenges and discrimination within school. I cant wait to graud soon seriously! I HATE MY EDUCATION LIFE. But one important thing was i met really awesome friends through my CIP. Side tracked abit liao. I have a really ambiguous thought recently. I would really like to interact with normal A&T secondary students especially students who are rebellious; I would like to know how they feel about themselves and how others actually penalized them because of their attitude and such. Thus i would like to conduct a "social-education" camp starting from my mother school. (okay that name was just a random idea) Anyways, my the main purpose of this camp is to allow these students to understand what they want in life and by doing establish certain values in their life to change their future and blah blah blah. As i once been in that situation as well. I just wan to help and understand how these kids felt having to live under such stressful lifestyle in SG, where you have to meet all kinds of high standards are being designed. Another point to made - i hope this camp could educate them in both psychological and physical ways. Probably just my wishful thinkings.